I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t have faith. Even if it’s only because I can’t wrap my head around a physical universe without meaning, I need God; to me the Creator of the underlying order and origin of joy in the universe. It would be nice to think that God needs me, too, but one of the ideas ingrained in my Christian upbringing is humility; I am just a tiny speck in the infinite vastness of creation and if I have a small part to play in it, it’s a part that could be done by any one of umpteen others too. But hand-in-hand with that goes the idea that I am precious to God, and that in some unknowable way, I do matter and that I always have a choice; I can choose to do what’s right & what’s necessary, or I can turn my back & say, “That’s too hard. Or I’m too busy just now; I’ll think about that later.” Which I’ve done far too many times in my life; haven’t we all?
So the idea of God, and “that of God” in everyone, is central to the way I think. And Jesus is very real to me, too; not just a historical figure who spoke a lot of sense & challenged the establishment, but someone real, and supernaturally human, and there for me in both the good times and the darkest moments. Not always a comforting presence; sometimes confronting and demanding, but always better than the best that I would find within myself, by myself.
The Holy Spirit? I need it like a plant needs water. I haven’t a clue what it is or does, but sometimes in a Meeting, or listening to beautiful music (of any genre!) or watching the sun go down from the top of a hill, I feel as if I am bathing in the River of Life. I am connected to the universe and can feel the pulse of the world and all that is, or who are, in it. It’s both a presence and a process beyond rational thought and scientific investigation, and it’s in all the things that make life worth living.
So that’s where I’m starting out from.
